I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
