finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
