also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
