Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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