My first STD was from a foam party
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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