you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
NoShamevember. You game?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
