We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
