i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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