I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
