i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
