Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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