Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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