she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
