just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
