i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And then the night went full on bisexual.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
