so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize