if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
