Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
