I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
