Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
