Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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