My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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