Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
