Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
