i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
