I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
