is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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