She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize