Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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