Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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