Walk of Shame. In a state park.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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