Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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