are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
