dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
