you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I can't turn off my feet"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
