Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
