Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
