i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
