Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
