bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
