this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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