i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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