Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
