with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
