Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
