My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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