Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
