Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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