You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
