i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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