Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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