There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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