Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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