hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
