Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
