Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize