covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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