This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
