I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize