I bet he comes in French.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Welp...herpes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
