Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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