Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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