I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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