Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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