is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
